NaPoWriMo :: Day 4

phoenix

I have been dismembered time and again
by diligent crows pecking eyeballs and tearing flesh
at the bottom of a pool in the bowels of the earth
by red-eyed demons pulling limb from trunk
in my darkened bedroom
by the words she said to me when he was 4 months old
I felt more disoriented then than when I fell
down the flight of concrete stairs
in front of a whole room full of strangers
years later

life is constantly pulling at me
and I keep vacillating between
pulling myself back together time and again
and time and again and again and again
and letting myself be torn to pieces
I stand back, marveling at it all
this process of forcible growth and expansion

we think we are here to become whole
that we were born lacking
we look for our other half
our better half
the missing piece to our puzzle
we feel broken and damaged
and that message is repeated,
our weaknesses exploited

and all it really is is that
our “other half” shines light on those places
already within us, allowing us to see that we
are already whole

and that what needs breaking apart
is our delusions that we are damaged
and unworthy, the lie of our lack
the stories we tell ourselves
beliefs we hold about the world around us
these fabrications we weave into our identity
the fetid air of toxic thoughts
we breathe into our being

that’s what needs to be cleaned out
and so I am dismembered time and again
thrown off a cliff, rug pulled out from under,
worn away to the marrow, and crumpled in a pile
on my bedroom floor

falling apart over and over
pulling myself back together again but anew

renewed

remade

reborn

One thought on “NaPoWriMo :: Day 4

  1. […] the NaPoWriMo challenge this past April, I wrote a poem wherein I touched a little on this concept of “other half” and twisted […]